Seriousness, Reincarnation, and Who I Won't Worship

It's hard to decide whether life is this serious thing that must be excelled at, perfected, or whether it's a quest to learn, discover and have fun. It's not really a decision I suppose, but more a gut reaction. Sometimes it feels like it's all about the seriousness, and sometimes that idea makes me shake my head and get upset with myself (which in itself is taking life too seriously).

Sometimes it seems like this can't be all there is. For some reason in my mind, I feel like it's impossible that we are forced to live life in the constraints we are given, experiencing life as a girl, as a boy, straight, gay, black, brown, white, tall, picked on, short, happy disposition, sad, or carrying the weight of the world.

 

My brain totally understands the idea of reincarnation: to approach life scientifically, or to explore and understand something depends a lot on point of view. Truth depends on point of view. So there is an inherent need to come back again and again, understanding new points of view. Otherwise the purpose of life cannot be to find "truth", or not absolute truth though perhaps situational truth. Wanting reincarnation to exist, in some form, does not make it so. I can't know the answer, not yet anyway and perhaps not ever.

How is it fair that a child never lives past 1 or 2 or 15? Yes, "life isn't fair", but there must be a balance somewhere. For those who die too soon, they must get another chance. Without that chance, it feels like the fabric of everything starts to unravel. I have no idea if this "instinct" that there is more is just a fantasy to make life easier to exist in, or if it's real.

So I find it funny when someone claims that God will destroy me for not believing something, when really, there are so many options, choices and unexplained questions that need answering. What kind of god would create us with this thirst for knowledge, give us no answers, and then destroy us for not being raised in the right religion, or somehow magically picking the right way of life from a hat? Certainly not any god i would want to worship or serve, that's for sure.